Some thoughts on Patience

Hello blogging world! I have definitely fallen off the band-wagon, but I may be jumping on a bit more often.  I just had some thoughts I wanted to share, and they may be a little disjointed.  Some thoughts on patience and our role.

To make sense of things I will need to give a little background.  I have been managing my fibromyalgia with medications and exercise and living a productive and functional life.  And then I went off the medications and was re-introduced into the aches, pains, insomnia, and well crap of it all again.  I tried supplements and they seemed to be helping quite a bit, it made it tolerable.  But then I had to stop taking some of those as well.  Needless to say, my patience has been tried!

Living with Fibro with a 2 year old.  I hate to sound melo-dramatic or over the top.  But the only way I feel like I can explain it is by relating it to an endurance race (I would say marathon but I've never ran a marathon, so can't really say what it is like.  I've done a triathlon, I'll go with that.) So every morning I wake up and I'm in the middle of the race, I'm tired and sore and I have to keep racing until the end of the day.  I feel like I have just enough energy to barely finish the race and then ... I hear "mom" all day, have to change diapers, try to potty train, do chores, do the dishes (I know it is a chore, but it deserves its own category), keep house clean, cook dinner and play with olivia (albeit that is enjoyable, I do have to run around a lot).  I hate to admit this, but this can be pretty tiring for me and when I'm tired my patience/tolerance can be pretty thin.

I have been praying a lot about this very issue and how to be an enjoyable mom and person to be around, when I am feeling so tired.  How to fulfill all of my obligations, but with a smile.  How to be patient through trying times.

On my wall I have a beautiful print that has the scripture, "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him." (psalm 37:7) which helps me throughout the day.  I know that I have to rely on the Lord and I would try, but then I realized I didn't really know how (I know, I'm a slow learner).  Then I read a verse in Isaiah which reads, "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." (Isaiah 40:31).  Wow, what promises!! That is exactly what I was praying for - strength to finish my chores, to run around with Olivia, to be able to walk without getting tired.  I prayed for guidance and knowledge to know what I must do to "wait upon the Lord" and rely on Him.

1st Answer: There was an article in the July Ensign titled "Waiting on the Lord, Renewing Our Strength" sound familiar? This woman used the exact same scripture in Isaiah and explained it out to me.  It was exactly what I was hoping for - a specific answer to my question.  And I love how she describes it - that waiting upon the Lord is an action.  That we must serve the Lord and do His work patiently and diligently, this is what it means to "be still" or "wait upon the Lord".  We must be doing what He asks us to be doing, get on that path and stay on that path.

2nd Answer (rather a confirmation): I put it to the test.  Sometimes it is difficult for me to sit for a long period of time, I start to get stiff and sore.  Also, I have a poor memory, I am sensitive to extra stimuli (noise, touch, etc.), and it is hard for me to concentrate.  So 3 hours of church can sometimes be difficult, but I go.  Fibro symptoms don't go away, but as I pray to Heavenly Father to give me strength, just like in Isaiah, I can feel that strength and I'm able to sit through all of church.  It has been difficult to fulfill my other callings, but I have noticed that on days I teach - my mind is a little clearer, and I don't feel the aches and pains.  On days I visit teach, I have more energy, and I am more patient with my family.  I have been noticing that as I fulfill my callings and spiritual obligations - as I get closer to the Lord, I do have more energy, I have more patience, I have the answer to my prayers.

I know that there will be tough days ahead of me, but I am so glad that I know a little bit more about my role in patience and relying on the Lord.  I know I have a lot more to learn, and look forward to those learning experiences. I guess that could be what Paul means when he says he delights in tribulations, because tribulations give us opportunities to learn and grow.  I love my Savior and so grateful for the scriptures and the big help they are in my life.