National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day

Today is National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day and thought I would share my story with you.  I was diagnosed November 2008, and I was lucky in that I only searched for a diagnosis for 7 months - some people go years trying to find a diagnosis.  A short, quick definition of Fibromyalgia (or Fibro) is wide-spread muscle and joint pain coupled with fatigue (most are diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome as well).  Fibromyalgia has affected me in all aspects of my life - physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  And, since my diagnosis I have grown in all aspects. 

I first started feeling sick when I was experiencing fatigue.  I was in the middle of my 1st semester at nursing school and wrote it off to stress.  Then I started having a hard time going up stairs and generally keeping up with everybody else.  Again, I thought it was just stress and before I knew it the semester was over with.  The hardest part was the sudden weakness and pain I experienced around August 2008.  I used to ride my bike to school - a 16 mile round trip - and run 2 miles 3 times a week.  Within a couple of weeks I was going from riding my bike to school to barely walking around the block.  Of course, this is when I heavily started seeking out an answer.

Because of my inability to keep up physically, I had to drop out of my clinicals ... eventually I decided to leave nursing school to try to take care of myself.  This decision, along with my physical abilities/disabilities, came on so suddenly.  Even before nursing school, I had 3 jobs and was on campus all day, I participated in a triathlon, I was able to do anything.  When I got sick, I no longer had the same goals - I wasn't becoming a nurse and I could no longer train.  It was hard on me emotionally, I had to change everything I was used to.  Lucky for me I had great support from my husband, and my friends and family.  They helped me see my true self and to find new talents - this is when I learned to knit :D

It was very difficult for me to rely on other people for things I could have done before, and this pride has affected me spiritually.  I'm an independent soul and haven't had the need for other people to help me before - it has been a great growing experience.  The person who I have learned to rely on the most is our Savior.  A couple of verses in the Book of Mormon have been what I go back to the most.

In Alma 7:11-12  it says, "And he (the Savior) shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.  ... and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities."

I know that these verses are read a lot, but I have learned that we not only give up our sins to the Savior, but because of His sacrifice, we are able to give him our pains and infirmities as well.  There have been many times when I felt that the pain was too much, or I was too tired to do anything and I have prayed to give him my pains.  Through the power of the Atonement, my pain wasn't taken away, but I was able to physically do what I needed to do.  I have felt his love and support many times, and in a sense I am grateful for this extra "trial" so that I can learn and experience more of our Savior's Atonement. 

It has been about a year and a half since I've been diagnosed and I have some new goals to help me out. 

1. Physically: I am "training" to walk a 10k by September this year.  I am already able to go 3 miles :D I plan on doing the little grand canyon marathon in the san rafael swell September 11th if anybody is interested in joining me.
2. Emotionally: My new goal in life has been motherhood, and I would like to add some additional service.  I plan on using my new-found talent to make little toys to donate to primary children's hospital and maybe make some hand made gifts to donate to mother's without borders (the proceeds of the sales will help children in Africa).
3. Spiritually: I am going to go to all 3 meetings of church and visit the temple at least once a month.  In the past I have had a hard time being able to sit for long periods of time, but with a little humility, I have learned that nothing is impossible with the Lord. 

My life has changed since my diagnosis, some of it I'm still trying to get used to, but I have learned a lot about myself.  Thanks to all my friends and family who have supported me and helped me through the hard times.